Goodbye Sam

Do you all know that song? It is a song about the end of a woman named Suzanne,  the person who sang the song wrote it from his grief of a life that was cut short, that he always thought they would get together again. I did as well.  I thought perhaps one day, I would see my person and we would be able to deal with the issues we had that brought an end to our friendship.  You don't know how many times something from the past would come up and I would laugh and think wow Sam would think this was funny....

Soon someone will make plans to end Sam's life on this plane, they will take her I know who is of the same name, they will make the plans to do the same, she lay in a hospital bed many miles from me, and she is dying.  If you knew this woman you would know how full of life she is, how she is only less than 6 months older than I am.  How we were inseparable for most of our 20's and 30's and how our friendship ended, perhaps because we were too enmeshed in each others lives.

We became fast friends when we met in a Summer Sign Language course.  It was supposed to be for people who actually knew some ASL but I misread and decided to stick it out, best choice I ever made.

We made a promise to grow old together and she is breaking that promise.  We are old I guess at 50, but that is the new 30 so we should have time, even though we don't speak, it does not matter, she is leaving me behind Dammit!  I knew something was going on I was having obsessive needs to speak with her, when I had not spoken to her since 2000.  Why after all of these years was I dreaming of speaking with her, or having bits of our fun times come forth?

She was one of the Maids of Honor at our Wedding, we lost the Best Man 2 years ago.  He was 40.  Why could she not go the doctor? Why?

We worked Renaissance Faires together, laughed and cried together, she was there for my children's births.  She is my 20's and 30's, she had this vibrato that was horrid, but she would belt it out no matter what because she was SAM.  The world will be smaller when she is gone.  I was not part of her life for her or my own 40's.  She turned 50 in February of this year, and I did in July, I thought of her on my day and I thought of her on hers.  Sam died November 23rd at 1:23 am.  I never had the chance while she was alive to say good bye.

Fire and Rain from  James Taylor:

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone.
Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you.
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,
I just can't remember who to send it to.
I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand and I won't make it any other way.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.

Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again, now.

Thought I'd see you one more time again.
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.